How beautiful it is to do nothing, and then rest afterwards. – Spanish Proverb
We live in a world where everyone is constantly busy. The standard answer to “how are you?” no longer seems to be “I’m fine,” but rather “I’m so busy!” Many people seem to consider being busy a badge of honor. But have you ever stopped and asked yourself what would happen if you could just stop being so busy?
Our culture reinforces that busy is somehow good. Being busy, supposedly, is one of the marks of someone who is successful. And this conditioning starts early in life. Today’s children are over scheduled with homework and after school activities. There is no time for play, and this goes for adults, too. Few families still take the time to sit down together at the dinner table.
Unfortunately, all this busyness, without taking time to just be, is destructive to your mental, emotional and physical health. Feeling constantly overwhelmed is a mismatch between your expectations and what you actually manage to get done. And that’s the good news, because it means that even though you may feel powerless, you have the power to make different choices.
Most time management advice offers suggestions on how to fit everything you need to get done into your day by categorizing it into various categories of importance. Unfortunately, this won’t help you feel less busy, because it’s simply not possible to get it all done.
It goes without saying that we all need to earn a living and provide for our families, and that takes time. But beyond that, most of us spend far too much time on tasks that not only aren’t that important, but that don’t support our physical, emotional and spiritual well being.
The following 3-step approach may help you stop being so busy and enhance the quality of your life:
1. Decide on the most meaningful way to spend your life
Make a decision about what really matters to you in your life. Is it spending time with your family? With your cats? Do you want to pursue your life’s passion? These are the things that feed your soul. Make a list, and keep it as a reference whenever you feel that your schedule is getting out of control. Evaluate the items on your to do list against what really matters to you.
2. Schedule time for the things that really matter
Make time for the things that you identified in the step above, and give them priority on your to do list. Don’t make them optional. Everything else you think you need to get done will have to fit around these core things.
3. Accept that a lot of things won’t get done
If you follow steps 1 and 2, a lot of things won’t get done. Maybe even some important things. It’s simply not possible to do everything; you have to choose. And there is power in that choice. “The biggest, trickiest lesson,” said author Elizabeth Gilbert, “is learning how to say no to things you do want to do.” Maybe your house won’t be as clean as it used to be, maybe you will only work out five times a week instead of seven, and maybe you won’t go to the happy hour all your friends are going to every single week. By saying no to things that aren’t as important to you, and saying yes to the things that really matter, you will feel less overwhelmed, and ultimately, you will feel more in control of your life.
I offer you this challenge: eliminate the words “I’m so busy” from your life. Do it for even just one week. If you’re anything like me, you’ll be amazed at how frequently you use these words. Eliminating these words is a great first stop to stop being so busy.
And if you need some help, look to your cats for guidance. Most cats wouldn’t know what being busy means. You’ll never find a cat thinking “I’m too busy to play right now.” They know that the only thing that matters is whatever happens in the present moment.
Thank you so much for this column. I took your advice to heart and have made a conscious effort to not be so busy all the time. Twice now I’ve been overwhelmed by my to-do list and said to myself, this is crazy. So instead of running to 3 different stores to save a few dollars on Christmas gifts, I shopped online – and got free shipping – so money-wise I broke even but stress-wise I came out way ahead!!!
I’m a firm believer in online shopping as a time and sanity saver, Cindy.
Toke me a long time to not be too busy. Now I just take it easy and enjoy my kitties. Wish I would of learned how many years ago. Great post for the holidays.
Thanks, Sue. I think it is a very hard habit to break.
I was a “Marine Engineer” for approximately 23 years sailing on and off on Ocean and coastal ships visiting different country’s , Continents and Ports. It was a hectic and tough life with a minimum of 12 hours duty and always on “Call” while on a sailing ship.Unlike shore jobs there are no “Holidays” on ships and at times i have worked for 2 or 3 days without sleep to attend severe engine breakdowns at sea..Circumstances forced me to change my profession in 2006 and today i am a self-employed “Stock market Investor”, a hobby which i was lucky to convert into my main profession and source of income.At present i have leisure ample time but also a gamblers anxiety since i am self employed and not guaranteed a “Fixed income” as happens in a job.My house is my “OFFICE:” and my two Persian cats keep me company at home along with my house care-taker. I take a annual leave from “Home office” and travel to a foreign country or within India.In other words my lifestyle and living has changed considerably since i switched over professions .I liked the article “STOP BEING SO BUSY”, a very true suggestion of living life or trying to live life with least mental or physical exertion.Remember, no human can get all the luxuries or sorrows in life and will have to try to balance the two in order to live comfortably financially as well as physically and mentally.