‘Tis the season. Many of us are working on our taxes, and whether you’re super organized and only have to download your data into Turbo Tax, or whether you’re still using a shoebox system, haven’t you wished that someone else could do this chore for you?

Enter the Feline Tax Assistant. The main responsibilities of a feline tax assistant position are to assist and support hinder their human in organizing receipts, entering data in spreadsheets walking across the keyboard, printing said spreadsheets batting at said spreadsheets as they come out of the printer, and helping their human locate missing receipts chasing receipts all over the office.

Allegra and Ruby excel at these tasks. Thanks to their help, getting my taxes done has become a breeze takes far longer than it should. But they’re so enthusiastic about their assistance, how could I be mad at them?

Ruby: Allegra, look, Mom has papers spread all over the dining room table! What does this mean?

Allegra: It means that it’s tax time, Ruby.

Ruby: What’s tax time?

Allegra: It’s something humans have to do. They have to pay the government money because they make money.

Ruby: So it’s a good thing? Because making money is good, right?

Allegra: Yes, it’s a good thing. Because if Mom didn’t make any money, we wouldn’t have a nice warm house, and food, and toys.

Ruby: But why can’t she keep all her money?

Allegra: You know when sometimes she uses bad words? That’s when she’s asking herself that same question…

Ruby: Why does she need all these papers to pay the government money?

Allegra: Because she has to show how much money she made, and how many deductions she has.


Ruby: What’s a deduction?

Allegra: You know when you get yourself in trouble? And you don’t get any treats? That’s a deduction.

Ruby: Huh. So why doesn’t she just pay the government in treats? I bet they’d like that much better than money!

Allegra: Sighs.

Ruby: Look Allegra! Look at all these little pieces of paper!

Allegra: Those are called receipts, Ruby.

Ruby: I’m going to receipt them off the table and chase them around the house! Wee!!!

Allegra: We’re supposed to help Mom, Ruby, not make this job more difficult for her.

Ruby: Why is she muttering to herself, Allegra?

Allegra: I think she needs some kitty kisses, Ruby.

Ruby: I think she needs some tuna!

The girls really have been very helpful when it comes to getting my taxes done. It’s impossible to get too stressed about taxes when you have two adorable tortie faces watching your every move.

Do your kitties help you prepare your taxes?

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11 Comments on Allegra and Ruby Assist With Tax Preparation

  1. We said good-bye to Melanie, our beautiful, petite calico mid-July 2015. Sad, sad day and after seeing her tiny face and her tiny body curled up on my desk (I work from home) – and gladly tending to her every need (cat-lovers know how that goes) my heart broke. After all, 17-1/2 years is a long friendship.

    Tears wouldn’t stop for a long time (and I still have her photo on my phone!!), and my daughter (animal lover, too – but dogs as allergies to cats) said, “Mom, I can’t remember a time when you didn’t have an animal in your house.” So a few weeks later I went to the Shelter – left in tears – not quite ready. I went back, of course, looking for another calico. Found one, but she was so extremely scared (probably some damage of some kind – not physical–emotional) I knew it would not work for us. There was this tortoiseshell cat – newly placed by a ‘Good Samaritan.’ She came in with 4 kittens and Shelter people named ‘mama’ SaraLee and her kittens products from the SaraLee line (cute, huh!) Kittens were adopted, and SaraLee stayed behind. We were introduced and she liked me, but didn’t ‘fawn’ or fall allover herself. I still don’t understand why I chose her. But I did. She didn’t seem near as beautiful as Melanie (calico) – has yellow eyes and Mel had soft green eyes and a soft look. SaraLee has a buff chin – big yellow eyes (more round than ‘cat-eyed’ shape!) and it gives her a quizzical look! My husband, Jeff, has ‘stolen’ her from me, so perhaps I need to introduce a new one! Funny about that – as I made a stop in the local veterinary office (we moved here 2 yrs ago and have not needed a local vet – Mel was treated at her previous vet)….anyway, there was a tortoiseshell cat up for adoption at this ‘new’ vet! Holy Cow! Do I WANT another tortie? I know I don’t NEED one. SaraLee is entrenched in our lives (is she ever) and I don’t know if another one would ‘ruin’ her relationship with us – know what I mean? Husband seems open (yes, believe it!) so any thoughts? SaraLee is a couple of years old – and tortoiseshell at the vet is about 3-4 years old. You know how it goes – cats don’t tell their age. Any thoughts would be appreciated.

    • I’m not sure how this comment ended up on this particular post! 🙂

      I’m so sorry about Melanie, JoAnn. Only you can decide whether it’s right for you to bring another tortie into your family. Unfortunately, there’s no way to predict for sure whether two cats will get along. If you decide to move forward, make sure you introduce the newcomer very slowly and gradually.

  2. I have 3 cats and they all have their own special places on my desk where they lay and sleep. They also like to walk across my laptop when they want to change positions.

  3. Piper doesn’t help me with my tax return. She is much too busy looking at catalogs and how she is going to spend my return. If I could claim her as a dependent I’d have a larger return.

    Good job Ruby & Allegra helping Mom find all those receipts. Now can you come over to my house and help me find my missing sock please?

  4. Ingrid,

    Cute, article. As for Grayson and Milo helping do taxes, no they do not. Mom and Dad, take theirs to an account. Like to take to someone who knows all the tax laws, which will help us, maybe get more money back. Which in turn we can spoil our boys with!

  5. I helped my human lots with tax preparation – and boy, did she need it! She has one return finished, and still has several more to go! (Yes, she has to deal with multiple tax returns every year – hopefully there will be less next year.)

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