Ruby-on-bed

Hi everyone, it’s Ruby! I want to thank all of you for all the lovely wishes, healing thoughts and prayers that you have been sending me since Mom told you that I have advanced kidney disease. It makes me feel so good to know that so many people care about me, and I know it also means a lot to Mom.

I’m still here, I’m still me, but I am pretty tired most of the time.

I’m still really enjoying my meals. Mom feeds me lots of times throughout the day because I don’t always want a full meal. She can’t leave the food out for me, because Allegra would totally take advantage of that!

Allegra: You bet I would – and so would you, if things were reversed!

Ruby: Yeah, I probably would. But Mom makes sure you always get a little snack when she offers me food, doesn’t she? Anyway, I get to eat whatever I want. For a while, I still liked my raw food, but for the past couple of weeks, I didn’t want it anymore. Mom says it’s because it doesn’t have enough of a smell to it maybe? I don’t know. All I know is that I LOVE the canned kitten food she’s feeding me now! And guess what! I get to have tuna whenever I want it!!! Weeee!!!

The problem is that even though I’m eating really well, I keep losing weight. I was a tiny cat to begin with, so I don’t really have a lot of weight to spare. Mom says, and our vet agrees, that I’m most likely losing weight so fast because I have renal lymphoma, whatever that is. The only way we would know for sure was with a biopsy, and Mom decided when I first got sick that she wouldn’t put me through aggressive diagnostics and treatments. I’m so grateful to her for that. She knows me so well, and she knows I’d be miserable if I had to go to the vet all the time and be poked and prodded. I do understand that this probably also means that Mom and I won’t have that much time left together, and that makes me sad.

But, I don’t like to dwell on all that. For now, I’m still here. I may be more tired, I may sleep more, and I may not have the energy to play, but I still love being with my mom and my sister. None of us know how much time we have left with those we love, so why waste time worrying when we can just love each other right here right now!

Allegra: You can be pretty wise, little one.

Ruby: You have no idea, Allegra!

Allegra-Ruby-bed
Hanging out on a sunny afternoon

I love that Mom is able to arrange her life so that she can spend almost all her time with me. She goes for a walk every day, and every once in a while she meets a friend somewhere for a couple of hours, but for the most part, she’s home with me. We spend a lot of time snuggling – it’s the best!

Allegra: Tell them about how you’re being watered every other day!

Ruby: Oh, that. Yeah, I’m thirsty a lot, and I drink a lot of water. Mom has put out extra water bowls and a fountain (affiliate link*) to make it easy for me to drink when I feel like it. But apparently that’s not quite enough to keep me “hydrated” (whatever that means!) so every other day, my Auntie Renée comes and helps Mom stick a needle in me and water runs into me from a big bag. I don’t much like that, but it does make me feel better. And I get lots of hugs and kisses during and after, so I guess it’s not all bad.

I also get daily treatments with either the Assisi Therapy Pad or Assisi Loop. And I get daily Reiki treatments from Mom.

Ruby-assisi-loop
I’m getting my Assisi Loop treatment while I’m on Mom’s lap!

And once a week, my Aunt Andrea (our wonderful vet) comes to check on me. She listens to my heart and gently examines me, and she gets a report from Mom on what I’ve been up to during the week.

Do I have the most amazing healthcare team or what? Go, Team Ruby!

Allegra: Rolls eyes. Next thing you know, you’ll be selling Team Ruby T-shirts…

Ruby: Blows raspberry at Allegra.

There are times when I don’t feel so good, and I just want to be by myself. One of the places I go when I just want to be alone is under the loveseat. I know Mom doesn’t like it when I go under there, she worries that it means that we’re getting close to the end, but I tell her that’s not it at all, at least not yet. I just love being all cocooned and it’s really nice and warm down there.

Mom has tried her darndest to offer me alternate spaces that are warm and cozy, too. She bought a heated cat bed (affiliate link*) which I didn’t care for.

Allegra: You may not care for it, but I love it!

heated-cat-bed

Ruby: Well, I suppose since I’m getting so much attention right now, it’s okay that you get something out of it!

Anyway, then Mom bought a hooded heated bed (affiliate link*,) thinking that would recreate what it feels like to me to be under the loveseat. I gave it a brief test sit but – nope! But you know what an awesome Mom she is? When she finally accepted that I was just going to hang out under that loveseat when I felt like it, she put a soft blanket under it for me! We have carpet in the living room, but she wanted it to be even softer for me. I love my Mom so much!

hooded-heated-cat-bed

Allegra: She’s the best! Ruby, you just focus on loving Mom and resting. I’ll take care of Mom.

Whispers: Sometimes, Mom goes in the bedroom and cries. I know she doesn’t want Ruby to see her like that. When that happens, I go and comfort her by sitting close to her and purring as hard as I can. She always stops crying when I do that and tells me I’m such a good big sister. I tell her that I get sad, too, but that I also know that the three of us will always be connected in our hearts.

Ruby: Even though Mom and I (and Allegra, too) know we’re running out of time, this is a very special time for us. There’s so much love between the three of us. If love could make me get better, I would be here forever.

And now you’ll have to excuse me, it’s time for another meal! Bring on the tuna!

*The Conscious Cat is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites. This means that if you decide to purchase through any of our links, we get a small commission. We only spread the word about products and services we’ve either used or would use ourselves.  

56 Comments on Ruby’s Reflections: An Update on How I’m Doing

  1. My deepest appreciation and gratitude to all of you who have offered healing energy, prayers, good thought and love, and to those of you who have shared your own stories of encouragement as well as loss and heartbreak. Please understand that I don’t have the emotional bandwidth right now to thank each and every one of you personally, but know that every single comment has touched my heart. Your support means more than words can say.

  2. My heart aches for you, Sister, and all the comment-ers who have gone through the loss of (any type of) our animal families. I have 2 18 yr old main coons that are the loves of my life and am in the same situation. We just do the best we can to keep them free of pain & fear and pile on the love, yes?
    Truly appreciate the information you’re putting forth. I imagine writing & sharing your way thru this is a bit of a coping mechanism, and we appreciate it even more for that as we can feel the emotion in your writing. Peace & blessings (to everyone else, too!).. and know I’m sending love to help you through.

  3. Thank you for the update, I think of your wee family often and send healing energy with my nightly meditation. I’m so sorry this is happening. Knowing we were losing our Annabelle to cancer was agonizing.

  4. Losing your pet sucks, Ingrid. It just sucks. No words make it better. You’re attitude is great and I hope I can be as mindful as you are when this comes around to me again. Also, thank you for sharing what you’re going through, I know that’s not easy either. You and Ruby and Allegra are in my heart.

  5. I am so sorry you are going through this right now. I’m crying with you. Prayers, hugs and POTP for all of you.

  6. I was really touched by this. We are having some health problems as well; thankfully, not so dire. (overactive thyroid) I am also home most of the day and have fallen into the trap of multiple feedings to keep the weight on my kitty. It’s to the point that I have to keep track with a chalkboard because of the constant begging and me being so weak and giving in. We have had to become creative with medicating twice a day; sometimes it’s easy, and other times frustrating. I’m constantly buying different cat foods (US and German) because they are so picky and I am weak —- some raw feedings (depending on what we are eating) and of course, the magical tuna when all else fails. We love our babies and don’t want to lose them. Keeping Ruby in my thoughts and sending you a big hug.

  7. Sending more healing purrz. I’ll bet that evil ‘c” robs all the protein from you and you’re losing weight cos you can’t process it. I hope you have more good days than bad days and stick around for awhile.

    • This was a wonderful loving kitty dialogue. I hope it brings you peace to have published it. My 12 year old Winnie has early kidney disease. Wishing Ruby a good life and more happy days at home.

  8. Thanks for the update. I’ve been through renal failure with one of my babies, and pangs of empathy brought tears to my eyes. Ruby is fortunate to have such a caring Mom and Aunts.

  9. Ruby thank you so much for this beautiful update. I think you look pretty darned good, all factors considered! You are such a good girl and we want you to know how much we love you. I have been losing weight too (I may start thyroid meds next week, we aren’t sure yet) and my mom can relate about the losing weight. She said she wishes I was a fatty like I used to be when she would make fun of me. Now she says when she pets me she feels bones 🙁 Tell your Mom how much we love her, you, Allegra. We are sending tons of purrs/prayers and love to ALL OF YOU! Cody and Mom xoxoxo

  10. Hello again, all 3 of you..Every time I read your blog, I’m so sad for you..I feel like Allegra and Ruby are partially my babies too..I have a heavy heart, knowing the sadness, I know you are feeling…and the trying to be happy, feelings you are having..Today as I read, I cried for you all..Some days you are stronger, and some days not..but always the weight of knowing..I will pray for you all tonight..Your babies are loved..

  11. You both have the best attitude and way of dealing with this terrible situation. Sending you virtual hugs & head bops … and lots more time

  12. Ruby, you are such a sweet, brave girl. Trying not to cry while wishing for you, Allegra, and your mom the very best. ❤️

  13. Ruby,

    You write a good report, from the heart. You, Mom & Allerga are brave going through your kidney disease. Sadly takes a toll on all. But… Ruby you are the one cheering us up.

    My thoughts & prayers, along with Milo & Grayson are sent daily. And you know… you have another special cat looking out for you too. Lil BUB, I bet is keeping a paw out for you too.

    Keep up the fight. We are all with you!

  14. My kitty is 20 years and 5 months. She is in renal failure also. I feed her many times a day; small amounts, so she doesn’t vomit too much. She is always hungry (not hyperthyroid), urinates MANY times a day and is very frail. She seems happy enough, still can jump onto the bed, and occasionally uses her scratching post. We take one day at a time.

  15. Such a sweet brave Ruby! Figaro, Adina & I are thinking of you all and wishing you comfort and peace for as long as possible. I went through something similar with my late tabby girl Sophie, who at 18-1/2 developed lymphoma. I couldn’t put her through biopsies and treatment, and so she finally let me know when it was time. It was so difficult, but she’s always with me, as you will always be with your Mom & Allegra.

  16. Thank you for letting us know how things are going. Any of us who have had a kitty with RF or lymphoma can remember what it was like — being willing to do anything to make daily life easier/more comfortable. I’m so glad for you that there are no more trips to the vet or uncomfortable testing. I think of you all frequently, and wish you peace. Mindy & Diva the Terrible send purrs across the miles.

  17. Thanks for the update Ruby. So sorry you are feeling bad. I glad the 3 of you have each other to lean on. Sending lots of loving thoughts to you, Allegra and Ingrid.

  18. Sending so much love and peace your way. If love could keep her healthy she would live forever! Thank you for update, Maria and Scarlet xo

  19. Ruby,How sweet you are. Thank You for keeping in touch. you are in our prayers and Mom and Allegra as well. They are taking Great care of you sweety!please keep in touch. Love to hear from you . blessings for you, Mom and Alegra.Hugs. take care.

  20. Ruby is so fortunate to have a Mom like you and a good buddy in Allegra. I lost my last 2 cats to CRF. I have so much empathy for you, Please take care of yourself and enjoy your time with sweet Ruby.

  21. I read this with tears running down my cheeks. One of my cats was just diagnosed with kidney disease last Saturday and he’s only 6 years old. I feel so sad thinking about it and wish I could turn back the clock to his kitten days. This post reminded me that I should cherish everyday he’s still here and keep him happy & loved as can be. Thank you, and do take care. Have a happy Christmas

  22. I’m so, so sorry you’re all going through this. I don’t know why life has to be so incredibly unfair sometimes. I know you don’t want us to be sad but we just can’t help it. Purrs and love to you three wonderful ladies.

  23. My cat was diagnosed with CKD and told eight months to a year to live in July 2018. I researched and found Pet Wellbeing’s Kidney Support Gold. I started him on it in August 2018. As of August 8, 2019 his CKD has been eliminated and his creatinine, bun etc., back to high normal. Vets are fascinated. I was advised to continue giving him the holistic elixir.

  24. Ingrid,

    I know that if love could save her, Ruby would live forever. Love and best wishes to all three of you.

    Jane and her kitty Jake

  25. Thank you for the update. I don’t get to visit blogs much any more but my heart has been with you all. Love, purrs, and joy for all the moments you’re blessed to have.

    Deb and the Zee/Zoey gang.

  26. Thanks for the update, sweet Ruby. We have all been purring and praying for you and your mom. We know how hard this can be. We basically went through the same thing with Pono (though he had pancreatitis). Allegra has been a great big sister helping your mom when she gets sad. Your mom is a strong lady, but sometimes even the strongest people need extra support. We love y’all like you’re our own family. Janine, Lulu, Kiki and Pele

  27. Reading this takes us back to our Tommie’s battle with kidney disease. It’s a sad time which you’ve beautifully chronicled.
    We send our best wishes and love.

  28. You have the right mama

    You are wise by saying “ None of us know how much time we have left with those we love, so why waste time worrying when we can just love each other right here right now!”

  29. Brave little Ruby <3 Lots of love and hugs from Bibi and her mom. This must be so hard but you are all facing it in the best possible way <3

  30. Maybe your mom can put a heated pad under the blanket under the loveseat? Allegra, you are the best for comforting your Mom!

  31. Early holiday wishes for Ruby, Ingrid, and Allegra. Thank you for sharing so much with us. Ingrid, many of us know how strong you have to be and we send our love to you.

  32. There is one thing about Love that is so special – you can give all your love to those you care for and still have plenty left so I am sending all my love to you Ruby; eat all the tuna you want and bask in the sun with your sis and you Mom. <3 <3 <3

  33. Thank you, Ruby, for the update. You know we all love you, Allegra, and your mom. We appreciate hearing how you are doing.

    • Hi Ruby, it’s nice to get an update from you. I’m glad you still have your sense of humour and that you are having extra tuna. Sending you, Allegra and your Mom much love from Australia, Marg xx

  34. Ruford, Bella, Lucky , and I are sending you even more love and prayers! Ruby, you are a good girl! Feel better!

  35. Sending so much love and purrs from Smooch (my tripod panfur) and I, this made me cry. I empathize all too well. I hope you have the best time at Christmas, thinking of you both, purrayers for all.

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