Life’s disappointments can knock the wind out of the best of us, and sometimes, it seems like we’ll never get over some of the bad things that happen. As humans, our tendency can be to continue to bring up our painful past, rather than working on healing the pain and moving on with our lives.
Cats don’t do this. They live in the moment. They don’t dwell in the past and constantly revisit it, nor do they use the past as an excuse for not being happy in the present. This is particularly evident with cats who were rescued from marginal or abusive circumstances. It is humbling to be loved unconditionally by an animal coming from a rough beginning. While some of these cats may initially be cautious around humans, most of them adjust quickly once they find their forever home and a person who is willing to be patient and allow the bond between cat and human to develop slowly so that it can turn into trust and eventually love. Cats do not allow their early life experiences to define them the way so many humans do.
So why is it so hard for humans to just “get over it?”
Back in 1994, the Eagles released their first single after a 14-year breakup, and it was titled “Get Over It.” I always liked the lyrics, delivered with Don Henley’s trademark sarcasm:
You drag it around like a ball and chain
You wallow in the guilt; you wallow in the pain
You wave it like a flag, you wear it like a crown
Got your mind in the gutter, bringin’ everybody down
Complain about the present and blame it on the past
I’d like to find your inner child and kick its little ass
Get over it
Get over it
All this bitchin’ and moanin’ and pitchin’ a fit
Get over it, get over it
This concept was brought home to me even more dramatically the other day when I was doing Reiki on Fifi, a 17-year-old cat in renal failure. Fifi is my veterinarian’s cat. Dr. Tasi shared some of her background with me: she was 7 yeras old when she was brought to the veterinary clinic where Dr. Tasi worked at the time. She had a spinal tumor, and her hindlegs were paralyzed. Her owner never returned for Fifi, and Dr. Tasi ended up adopting her. Fifi went through several rounds of chemotherapy, and regained function in her legs again. She adjusted beautifully to Dr. Tasi’s multiple cat household. One day, Dr. Tasi decided to consult with an animal communicator for all her cats. As one of her other cats shared his story of a rough background (all of her cats are rescues), Fifi interrupted. The animal communicator relayed that what she was “saying” was clearly “We all have our stories – just get over it!”
I think Fifi may be on to something. While there is certainly value in looking back and understanding how our past impacts our present in terms of preferences, behavior, and emotional challenges, there is a tipping point where prolonged analysis of past wrongs can result in bringing more of the same into our lives. By living in the moment, appreciating the gifts we have in our lives, and letting go of the past, we free ourselves for a better and happier tomorrow. Each moment offers us a choice—to look back at what did not work for us in the past or to look forward and invite the chance for a new beginning and for change toward a happier life.
I think we might do well to take Fifi’s advice.
Photo of Fifi by Andrea Tasi, VMD, used with permission.
A very insightful post! I enjoy reading all of your posts!I have learned a lot! We just got a kitten from the vet last Aug. who is now 1 yr old. Had another cat years ago. Do you know of anyone who is a writer like you on dogs? We are also pug dog lovers. We are getting a 2 and 1/2 year old shy Chug dog from the shelter nest week. Our cat is pretty sweet. I hope they both get along! Any suggestions??? Thanks Jan L.
Get over it, really–sometimes a trauma has a lasting effect but rarely, people don’t seem to understand no matter what’s happened, it’s your life and your choices, not the choices of others.
We all carry emotional baggage, but it’s our personal choice what we do with the contents, or simply put it down and walk away. Stanley was the only one of my many rescues who carried his early trauma through most of his life, but I am convinced he lived as long as he did so that he could outlive what the cruel human had done to him–and he did outlive it.
Stanley was lucky that you were there for him to help him deal with what happened to him. I’m sure he was at peace at the end of his life, Bernadette.
Another wonderful post, Ingrid, and I love your point about rescue cats, which I ‘ve also found to be true with ferals. Sometimes it takes several months, but when a feral finally accepts me, then trusts me, and eventually comes running when it hears my bike on the gravel drive, there isn’t a sweeter feeling in the world. And when I receive strong head butts as I ‘m putting down the food, and when I hear loud purrs when I clean and refill the water bowl, I know true contentment. People often remark on how nice I am to care for these cats, but I’m telling you – honestly – I get SO MUCH more from them than they get from me!
Thank you for sharing this valuable lesson from a wise feline.
I know what you mean about getting so much more back than you give, Bobbi. Cats have a way of doing that for us, don’t they.
I used to LOVE that song by the Eagles…….
For the most part I agree…..but…right now…there is so much crap in my life that it is making it tough!
It is often easier said than done, Caren. Hang in there! Hugs to you!
That is all so true. Cats do just live in the moment. And you may have given me some insight into a supposedly foster cat that I have taken in. She was a wreck when she first came and is much better now and pretty much trusts me but I think she must have been abused by a human because when ever she gets upset about another cat being around, she whaps at me. I have never had a cat act like this one does. Anyway, great post.
What an interesting reaction, Marg. Hopefully, as she’ll come to trust you more and more, she’ll stop that behavior, too.
Cats are great ones for staying in the moment…..you’re right that we humans simply have a tough time letting things from our past go but they do indeed drag us down and keep us often from moving forward with the energy we need to do so. Wise words Ingrid!!
Pam
We have so much to learn from our cats, don’t we, Pam!
As most of your post do Ingrid…this really hit home.
Thanks for being so insightful…thanks for being YOU.
On with my day, to work on “getting over it”.
Hugs!
♥toni
I’m glad it was timely, Toni~