Hi everyone, it’s Ruby! I have a big job: I’m Mom’s office assistant. Allegra helps, too, but I’m the one who sits in Mom’s lap most of the time while she’s working, so even though Allegra and I came up with this job description for office cats together, I get to present it to you.

Description: Feline Office Assistant

Feline Office Assistant Job Purpose: Assist human in maintaining hindering office operations by receiving and distributing communications laying on important papers; maintaining batting around supplies and sitting on equipment, paying particular attention to this thing called “mouse;” picking-up and delivering items (which means batting them to the furthest corner of the office); serving customers, training the human to serve.

Feline Office Assistant Job Duties:

  • Take care of correspondence by typing when human is not watching – this is also known as feline editing.
  • Maintain supplies by checking stock to determine inventory levels – this is especially important when it comes to food supplies. Alert human before supplies run out completely!
  • Placing and expediting orders using a square piece of plastic the human usually keeps in her wallet.
  • Maintain equipment by completing preventive maintenance. This involves ensuring equal distribution of cat hair to all pieces of equipment. Monitoring equipment operation – especially important when it comes to printers. It is helpful to assist the paper by pulling it out with paws or mouth.
  • Maintain office schedule, ensuring adequate time for naps and play.
  • Update job knowledge by participating in educational opportunities. This means reading the blogs of your cat friends, and watching YouTube videos of cute cats.
  • Enhance organization’s human’s reputation by accomplishing new and different requests accepting ownership for any and all accomplishments.

Skills/Qualifications: Previous office experience a plus, but really, the only requirements are cuteness and the ability to distract your human.

Do your kitties qualify for this important position?

25 Comments on Ruby’s Reflections: Feline Office Assistant Job Description

  1. I am a nurse cat. I help my Girl Human, Debby, relax when she gets stressed out looking for a job. I jump on her bed and cry and cry and cry until she comes over to snuggle with me, and then I purr her to sleep. Debby says the snuggle-sleep is keeping her from looking for a job, but I tell her that she doesn’t understand the importance of snuggle-sleep. Besides, her job is staying home with me so I can take care of her!

    Purrs & Headbonks,
    Lilith Kitten Mahoney, Age 12
    Nurse Cat & Diabeticat

  2. Bella has accepted theis position for my husband when he works at home on weekends. Her most important task is keeping the printer in line with a good smack when it starts to growl!

  3. Jayda and Kiki are quite talented in this area as well – Jayda will “supervise” when I use the laptop by laying at the side (of course, this is where the warm air blows out) and Kiki likes to keep my lap climate controlled. What a great post, Ruby!

  4. The boys at home are quite good as ‘feline support for humans at work’. Of course the feline decides what, when and how the support should be … It goes from staying as close to me as possible, usually in deep sleep, to standing in front of the screen to show that is time for a break. My old boy has a particular side -left of the screen- and he can be there as long as I am at the desk, he has been doing it for 12 years so he is pretty good at it.

  5. Roby’s “cousins” agree with the job description. Especially, Marley the Man, my all black black stray who checked me out and decided I was “okay”. And he moved in and likes to “nest” on my desk while I type.

  6. Ruby, we just knew you were going to be a good worker. It sure sounds like you are doing a first class job and are leaving no piece of paper unturned. Keep up the good work. Take care.

  7. Sounds about right! My cat Hattie played an important administrative role during tax season as my CPA (Constantly Purring Accountant). Chief duties: identifying critical documents by sitting on them and ensuring that I took frequent breaks for stress relief.

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